Inexplicable
by is-this-reality
Summary: Aoba and Mikado are left alone while the rest of the Blue Squares hunt down rogue Dollars and Aoba tries to sort out confusing feelings about Mikado. Mikaoba one shot.


With a clatter, the rest of the Blue Squares climbed out of the van while Mikado and Aoba remained. Neither of them were much use in a fight, so they usually stayed behind. Aoba watched them run toward a group of suspicious Dollars. He still wasn't completely sure what Mikado's motives for this were, but Mikado had asked for their help, so…

To be honest, he still wasn't completely sure why he was doing this himself. Sure, Mikado was the leader of the Dollars, which was more than convenient, but he also had just felt… He really wasn't sure what he felt. He was quite unaccustomed to feelings in general.

Glancing over, he saw that Mikado had opened up the Dollars home page. But without his permission, Aoba's eyes had soon strayed from the bright glow of the phone's screen in the dark van to Mikado's innocent face. In the time the two had known each other, Aoba had learned that Mikado was yet another example of faces and expressions betraying the words and actions of a person.

Aoba could say the same for himself, and he never felt guilty for all the lies he told. Something told him Mikado didn't either. But something about Mikado… his voice, maybe, or his eyes, or his smile… Aoba didn't think that Mikado was as twisted as he was. Yet, anyway.

And for maybe the first time in his life, Aoba felt a nagging guilt in his stomach. He didn't think Mikado had always been this way. It seemed to Aoba that it had begun shortly after he had forced him to join the Blue Square. Even worse, Aoba liked the new Mikado better than the shy, kind boy who had given him a tour of Ikebukuro. He knew it was sick. But twisting people—he'd done it all his life! Why would he feel bad now?

For a fraction of a second, Aoba lost his composure. His shoulders sagged, and his face crumbled into a pile of rubble. But then he quickly swallowed, blinked, and pieced his go-to neutral expression back together. A flood of relief rushed through him as he saw Mikado had not looked up from his phone.

Aoba didn't know what was wrong with him anymore. But he did know, whatever it was, it had something to do with Mikado.

"Anything new with the Dollars?" Aoba said, finally forcing himself to speak.

Mikado still did not look up from his phone and Aoba took it as another chance to study the leader's face.

"No… not much," Mikado replied after a moment.

Aoba frowned in frustration. He didn't know what to do with all these pent up emotions. He wasn't used to dealing with so many at once.

Slowly, he took a deep breath and clicked his seatbelt off, leaning back and closing his eyes. Maybe he was just tired. Working with Mikado to clean up the Dollars meant a lot of late nights. Aoba knew that wasn't the real reason, but it was a good enough excuse.

He opened his eyes to see Mikado looking up at him with concern. Aoba quickly re-composed his face.

"What's wrong, Aoba?" he said, his kind voice filling the silence in the quiet van.

"Just tired, that's all," Aoba answered as he painted a confident smile across his lips.

"Really, Aoba. Tell me what's bothering you."

Aoba's brain was too tangled up with the way Mikado was looking at him to think properly. Even if it hadn't been, all these feelings were inexplicable.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you," he replied. Mikado opened his mouth to speak but Aoba cut him off. "I can only show you."

And suddenly Aoba found himself leaning towards Mikado and pressing their lips together. It lasted only a few seconds before Aoba broke away. With just one look at the blushing, wide-eyed Mikado he'd just kissed, Aoba quickly turned his eyes to the grey carpeted floor of the van.

"Sorry."

 _What had he just done?_

Once again, the van was filled with hard, empty silence.

"Aoba?" Mikado finally said.

Aoba opened his mouth, but he found himself unable to form words and he couldn't look away from the floor. He knew he'd just ruined everything.

"Aoba?" Mikado repeated, but Aoba still remained silent. "I… um… that…"

"That was nice."

Aoba turned to look at Mikado, shocked. He had been certain he must have done everything wrong.

"You… liked it?"

Mikado nodded. Aoba didn't need any more convincing.

He leaned in again, kissing Mikado until they were nothing but a tangle of arms and legs and lips. He felt in a way he hadn't kissing Kururi and Mairu, or anyone, ever.

It was inexplicable.

His thoughts turned to mush and everything was _Mikado Mikado Mikado_. He didn't want this to ever end. He didn't want to ever leave Mikado's side again.

And then he heard footsteps and shouting. This was the time to break apart. He should really let go, but he didn't want this to end. He didn't want to ever stop.

The thrush of a van door finally flipped some switch in Aoba's brain, forcing him to remember who he was and what he was doing in this van in the first place. The two boys broke apart, flying to opposite sides of the bench with faces flush and lips soar just in time to see the group shove their way into the vehicle.

Aoba pulled his phone out of his pocket, needing something to hide his uncharacteristically grinning face behind while he tried to get himself together. He logged into the chat room just shortly after Mikado.

 _TarouTanaka entered the chat room._

 _Pure Water 100% entered the chat room._

 _Setton: How is everyone today?_

 _TarouTanaka: I'm great!_

 _TarouTanaka: I just had my first kiss._

 _Pure Water 100%: Me too. My first worthwhile one, anyway._

 _Kanra: Really? That sure is exciting? Any juicy details I should know?_

 _Kyo: Lucky!_

Aoba found Mikado's hand and held it. Their eyes met and Aoba smiled. Maybe emotions weren't as bad as he thought.

 _TarouTanaka left the chat room._

 _Pure Water 100% left the chat room._

* * *

A/N: This is the first fanfic I've written, so I hope you enjoyed it! I'd also really appreciate it if you'd leave a review with some constructive criticism if you have a minute. Thanks for reading!


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